Building Healthy Relationships
- Extreme jealousy
- Putting you down (even if it’s done in a teasing or joking way)
- Telling you what to do
- Checking your phone without permission
- Pressuring or forcing you to hook up
- Treats you with respect.
- Doesn’t make fun of things you like or want to do.
- Never puts you down.
- Doesn’t get angry if you spend time with your friends or family.
- Listens to your ideas and compromise sometimes.
- Isn’t excessively negative.
- Shares some of your interests such as movies, sports, reading, dancing or music.
- Isn’t afraid to share their thoughts and feelings.
- Is comfortable around your friends and family.
- Is proud of your accomplishments and successes.
- Respects your boundaries
- Doesn’t require you to “check in” or need to know where you are all the time.
- Is caring and honest.
- Doesn’t pressure you to do things that you don’t want to do.
- Doesn’t constantly accuse you of cheating or being unfaithful.
- Encourages you to do well in school or at work.
- Doesn’t threaten you or make you feel scared.
- Understands the importance of healthy relationships.
Setting Healthy Emotional Boundaries:
- It’s healthy to spend time apart
- Communicate about what you want out of the relationship
- No pressure to say “I love you” - say it when you’re ready and respect the other person if they’re not
Setting Healthy Physical Boundaries:
- Don’t rush it if you’re not ready
- Communicate with your partner and take things at a pace you’re comfortable with
- Sex isn’t currency. Your partner can’t claim you owe them anything. No means no regardless of the circumstances.
Setting Healthy Digital Boundaries:
- Passwords are private
- Respect each other’s privacy- no phone snooping
- Keep it positive - whether in status updates, messages or social media
- Be patient and understanding when waiting for replies
- Have boundaries with your partner about what you will, and will not, send via text and social media.
You are not alone. Many students have been through this before and there are people in your life who can help. If you think you are in an unhealthy relationship or just need some advice, please reach out to a counselor, a child study team member, a teacher, coach, or other trusted adult. Even if they don't have all the answers, they can help find you the right support.
As a friend, there are things you can do to help. You can:
- Tell someone that you are worried and want help or want to help.
- Be supportive and listen patiently
- Help your friend realize that abuse is not normal, not ok, and not their fault
- Let your friend know they can reach out to a counselor, teacher, parent, or other trusted adult for help
- Do not contact their partner or post negative things about them online. This will not make the situation better for your friend
- Be supportive of your friend regardless of their decisions*